Ymark the spot of love.
because0fy0u.blogspot.com
Really want to thank my np mates for singing me Happy Birthday song during our kbox session last thursday:) Yupx, thanks minjie, yongtat, yizhi, jingsheng and edmund:) And thanks so much for the 2 tee-shirts as my bday presents.
Just suddenly feel like returning back to kbox and start singing. I duno why. I guess i have a forte for singing sad songs. Perhaps it really fit my character. I do realise i can sing well, with emotions. LOL, dun listen to what TAT has TAGGED, saying i'm nj superstar!!! LOL -_-
Oh btw, minjie i lose u in singing cuz i duno ZHANG HUI MEI songs. LOL..
Today we went to celebrate Zhijun birthday with her. The class turnout at least to me isn't satisfactory in honest opinions. Sudden backing outs n all sorts of funny stuff really turned me off as an organiser. The worst thing i can ever expect is that there are people who never come despite me sending them sms. Pls, some manners u have? at least have the courteousy to reply pls? Actually, i should have expect this type of thing will happen. Its not the 1st time i initiate outing. But then i was perhaps being too ego-ful. yupx, kinda expect at least more than 1/2 of the class ppl to turn up, but i guess it was nt the ideal case to be. I guess i do all these is for my bestie(Zhijun). I wanted to surprise her. I really hope she enjoyed today. Cuz yushu really tried his best to make zhijun happy today. Anyway, thanks those who come today:) You guys are really great, ok guys especially like ming feng, zhongxian, mitchell etc.. Thanks!
Zhijun has been very nice to me. I wanted to repay her. But somehow i just think i have failed. Sorry.
Yeps, we took alot of photos today:) will upload the pics after zhijun send me baa. Zhijun said i have a nice smile:) Oh, Xiaoting n mitchell confirmed i'm very slim. LOL!
For the remaining of my blog entry today, i shall talked about my *love* life so far. Although its stagnant, i really have alot of questions n feelings which i don't want to be hugging them forever. Maybe its best to say my fear out. yup, so here it goes..
I feel very awkward talking to felicia now. I don't really know why. I just feel so distanced. Afterall, we used to be gr8 chatting partners. I remember she wrote on my friendster testimonial to me saying we were gd chatting partners on board 171. But now, everytime i initiate talking to her, i really feel very weird. I mean, when i talk to her i just feel something is amiss. like the way we used to chat isn't as *fun* as we talked now. Perhaps because she is my *eyecandy*'s mate, thats why it isn't as easy to communicate to her now. I really do not want this to happen de. Maybe i'm just confused the extent in which she can help me. But i have never ask for alot, did i? All i need now is your re-assurance that everything is fine and used to be what it is in the past. Very sorry this has happened.
I just like to think alot. Perhaps thats just so mee laa. Seriously, i have never been so affected before. I mean, what kind of worst scenario when she just refuse to be my friend? at least normal friend? Oh, she refused to accept my friendster request btw. Hello, am i a gal-eater that scare you off? Hello, am i really that low standard to match up to urs? So just tell me whats holding you back will you? I really do think i'm really that bad. Like perhaps both of us belong to different worlds. This is getting too much, i really hope you are sure of what you're doing. Don't say yushu has never stood in your position and think. Yushu has thought alot and he isn't expecting too much. Hello, a friend request is mission impossible isit? But then probably people will scold me for being stupid.
Love is like something that is playing tricks on youu. I really din expect myself to have like you h0nestly. maybee you think its just an infatuation and this feeling wun last. People kept asking me how come i can like you so much despite the fact that i don't even know you? how do you want me to explain? Some things are just non-explainable. Perhaps blame it on fate to have been in the same maths remedial as you? sorry, i should have studied hard last year for maths right? Ya, its all my fault.
Hello, i send 3 sms. The 1st 1 you did reply. I thought it was a good sign. I really didn't expect that i can be that damn wrong. But then what do you mean when you approached felicia to tell her "your friend sms me again but i never reply" Ok, being the most logical n normal person i can be, i would think your intention was to ask felicia to tell me to stay off. Why not you just tell me directly and then can end everything faster that way? Hello, i'm a human too, must i be treated like some kind of animal? I don't think any1 can ever feel the pain inside me. Confused, Scared, disappointed, and most importantly, i'm hurt:(
Perhap you want things to end this way. You think this is the best solution. I don't mind this ending. But then speaking from the bottom of my heart, this is so selfish of you. One-sided as it seems, losing you is fine. I can easily switch to a new target. I can easily forget you. I can easily hate you. Thinking of last year on how i take 1 year to put jasmine's realtionship past, i think i need another year again. so silly. I've fallen so deep inside and there's only me to suffer. Why just can't you share the pain with me?
How i wish i never get to know you. silly. erasing sad memories from my heart. to have never never ever fell in love with you.
Lucky, there is always marcus and celeste to talk to. you guys are the best:)
To know 2 and forget 1. I think it is worthed it.
No more sms to you. I don't believe you will ever come to my blog n discover such entry. Previously, yushu just wants a chance to talk to you. but now yushu wishes he will never get to see you again. Argh, i'm starting to hate school.
People always think i'm fortunate. But then i always failed in this matter. I shall hold on to the very hope that yushu will get to smile again.
I`VE MARKED IT:D
9:25 PM