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Ng Yu Shu
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♥ Wednesday, February 14, 2007

this friday going to be real screwed..

aiya heck la, going to take leave on thurs to make it good.
but then im sure it will still be the first n the last time this is going to happen laa.


i'm supposed to be excited about it cuz like what fel has said earlier, its a dream to come true? but then how long can this thing lasts? people will tell me to be appreciative. Yuliang said it was a fairytale ending. but then i think its just nothing to be proud of. bleh, inside me right now when im thinking abt this, just hope silently i wun screw this meeting up as much as i thought i would.

this definitely would be the 1st n the last time its going to happen. i duno abt her. but i guess maybe after friday, she wun even want to talk to me anymore. lol. but then, goals achieved so i cant complain anymore. its like not to be too greedy i guess. i tell zhijun i want to treat her like how i treat her.. LOL. but then sometimes feelings cant be controlled in some way laa.. how to hide jealousy i also dno. fel say na de qi fang de xia. alright pray hard the guy wld cherish her. so i can just move on into ns life without worries.

even to the extent i took a leave for thursday which is tml so as to prepare for friday so wun be wasting time staring at each other. you know that kind of embarrassnent when both parties stood rooted to the ground. took all this trouble so as to make her feel comfortable, as well as a part of promise to fel to treat her well. lol. so i ask myself "is it worth it even if she nvr
li3 qing2" i tink yes ba:) like all the office ppl who bother helping me hide the fact that im going to lie for an excuse to take leave for tml say i'm so meticulous.. but then i dun hope for any returns ba. i just want her to be happy.

actually im having mixed feeling nows.. see later im also spending vday with jas. but then she is going to be attached soon. kind of she bu de. but then has to let her go. i tell myself its no use looking her up anymore because its nt right 4 me to do so. then she replied saying sth like i'm feeling sad abt today meeting which is going to be the last. quite true la.. but theres nth i can do:(

so when this week is over, 2 gals gona leave. my heart will be empty. back to square 1. alone. go ns. n no1 to care. bleh


I`VE MARKED IT:D
2:51 PM